Showing posts with label lonliness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lonliness. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Decision That Started It All~Blogtoberfest 2012 Day 23

Point Lookout, St. Mary's County, Maryland

Back in 2004, Michael started a new job with a new company.  In fact, he was the first person the company hired.  Six months later they offered him a new position that required us moving 125 miles south of where we were.  They sent us for a long weekend to see if it was a location we would be interested in, and if it was, they would move us down there for a six month trial to see if we would like it and if having an office there would work for the company.

For many reasons, I knew about half way through the trial period that I didn't want to live there permanently.   Michael on the other hand loved this new location and wanted to stay.  So we did.  I was not happy.  Here it is eight years later and I'm still not happy.  I would move back to where we were in a heartbeat.

The first two years we lived in an apartment 40 minutes from town.  I couldn't wait to move closer to civilization.  I was lonely stuck out in the boonies.  I did a lot of going back and forth to the old place to see the kids and visit friends.  I missed them all so much.

We bought a house and moved to town and within a few months I decided to go to work.  The new neighbors weren't very neighborly and I figured a job would get me out of the house and I would meet people and finally make some friends.  I got a job at a gift shop that rented spaces to artists and crafters to sell their creations.  I loved that job.  It lasted two years.  I had to quit due to health issues.  I had a great working relationship with my coworkers but it never progressed to more than that.

It's been over three years since I left the gift shop.  I'm still lonely and health issues still abound.  It was the decision to stay here that changed my life as I knew it.  I would be lying if I said I didn't resent Michael from time to time for making that decision knowing how I felt.  I certainly didn't expect these years of my life to be  full of lonliness, depression, pain, and depending on food to keep me company.  I guess the good news is that I'm ready to tackle these issues and get back to a life that is happy, productive, and fulfilling.  If I don't do something now, I'm afraid I'll give up.

xo Annette xo