Friday, November 19, 2010

Objection, Your Honor!

When I came across these quotes, I knew I had to share!  These quotes were taken from official court records across the nation.  You can find more here.

Lawyer:  "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
Witness:  "By death"
Lawyer:  "And by whose death was it terminated?"
Lawyer:  "What is your date of birth?"
Witness:  "July 15th"
Lawyer:  "What year?"
Witness:  "Every year"
Lawyer:  "Can you tell us what gear you were in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness:  "Gucci sweats and Reeboks"
Lawyer:  "How old is your son, the one who is living with you?"
Witness:  "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which"
Lawyer:  "How long has he lived with you"
Witness:  Forty-five years"
Lawyer:  Did you blow your horn or anything?"
Witness:  "After the accident?"
Lawyer:  "Before the accident"
Witness:  "Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it."

Lawyer:  "Have you lived in this town all your life?"
Witness:  "Not yet"

Lawyer:  "Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?"
Witness:  "I'll be 3 months on November 8th"
Lawyer:  "Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
Witness:  "yes"
Lawyer:  "What were you doing at that time?"

Lawyer:  "And what did he do then?"
Witness:  "He came home and next morning he was dead"
Lawyer:  "So when he woke up the next morning, he was dead?"

Lawyer:  "Were you alone or by yourself?"

I hope that gave you a chuckle today!
I've started a new blog!   Hearing the Whispers is about my struggles with weight, food and diabetes.  I hope you will check it out and follow me if it's something you're interested in.

I hope you have a fabulous Friday!!!


  1. The things people say without thinking!!! Too funny! Thanks for sharing a chuckle with us today!

  2. haha! Those are funny! Thanks!

  3. Thanks for the right-out-loud laugh!!


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